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Today I finished my last final! Done. Finito. Finished. I was really ecstatic at first, had a "high" from the fumes of completion. I want to savor the feeling for awhile but I need my next challenge... or maybe a vacation. One or the other. When I was younger and adults told me I couldn't always get what I wanted, I would say "I ALWAYS get what I want or I change my mind."
Now I am an adult; how did that happen? I am still precocious but less people try to tell me what to do. I get less chance to make lil' smart remarks. Anyway desire is stronger then the rush of getting what you want.
I made a point of returning two borrowed books from school. Now I can say I never need to return to Hofstra ever again. I will return for graduation on the 21st to make the rents happy, but I am not required to. I also picked up a special, little, present from school. It is a business card holder (made in china) with the school's name inscribed inside. It was nice that a school could splurge on a gift. Ok, that is a little sarcastic, it is a nice gift, I just have to start paying loans soon, which is scary. (for example, if I could return the gift for a $1000 discount that would be nice? I am sure there is a hefty markup.)
After leaving school I went to eat at the Grand lux cafe for a late lunch with Ricky. I had food but now I wish I just got desert. The beignets that make are amazing. Then the best part. I just sat and did nothing other then mess around on the computer and take a nap!
My first grade was posted today. Hofstra's system is working super fast this year, probably due to the new dean. Usually it takes R&R a long time to post grades. So my first grade is an A+ in real estate negotiations. I hated that class. (The exam was multiple choice so it was faster to grade than essays; the rest of the grades may be awhile.) God willing I hope have a good semester for grades.
Then I talked to Sadie on AIM. She is back from Prague. I will call her later but her mommy needed to use the phone and she wanted to sleep since her time zone is still off. I miss Sadie! She suggested I needed to get a little drink and relax as well in celebration of my finishing. So I am taking her advice and enjoying a cream sherry and listening to some tunes.
A fun and busy week is on its way.
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My last exam, real estate transaction, is soooo hard. It is harder than all my other exam this semster. Way, way, (wait, one more) way too much informatin. I really should be studying right now; I'm not. Nothing is better than waiting till the last min. while you worry (about how hard the exam is). Worrying is a lot less working than studying.
I guess the last one has to be hard, too make a point. I would love to express the point; I was just fantisized a talking Tracht RET exam and what point that it would be making. I can't express the point though; it was soo vulgar. (Exam are really mean when they talk) I do not want to use those words all together in one sentence. (I like to keep my vugarity irregular and in sparse enough intervals so that it doesn't look habitual or all that vulgar.)
So the next weeks or so are going to be packed with fun, excitement, tension, long suspensful pauses (ie packing and more pakcing and then driving and more driving, and unpacking and unpacking) and a triumphant and completely unsatisying end (being done packing, graduating, and moving and then starting the bar course). Hope you will all be tuned in.
I am having 2 special guests this weekend, Manda and Mike! Yipee. I have no idea what we will do. I am a bad host. I will try to plan some action after my friday exam is over. Actually, I think you guys would appreciate me cleaning my room and maybe the rest of the house a bit but maybe if I am really motivated I can do more than clean...
Oh, one more thing. It recently came to my attention that people actually read my blog (maybe it was person and they were related but I am allowed to exagerate in my blog). Yet no one ever makes any comments. I just figured no one read it, but just looked at all the pretty pictures I post. Comments are nice, they make me happy.
I guess I should go study some more... I would write more to avoid studying but I can not think of anything more mundane and duplicative to bore you with, that is really sad. Don't you be sad though; I will return :).
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A picture for your viewing pleasure: A fav of mine by Magritte:
The Flu:
Of course I should be studying but it has been awhile since I have had anything to say. I had a bit of the flu or some cold after Hofstra's late spring break. It wasn't really that bad, it just made me stay in bed last weekend instead of studying. Being sick also kept me busy. When I was sick all my energy was in being sick, getting better, and doing whatever studying I could squeeze out.
Studying and Finals:
But despite how much I complain about studying it is going pretty well. I will be as ready as I usually am for my finals. My finals start May 4 and finish on the 12th of May. Then I am done. But not just done like every other time I have taken finals but done. Done.
Graduation
I guess when you have been in school as long as I have, there really is no done. Life has always been about learning. So I am thinking what the hell am I going to do. I know what I will be actually doing, moving, getting re-settled in a new place, studying for the bar, taking the bar, looking for a job and setting up my life.
But the scariest thing ever to me is just being. I just do not want to be a little 9-5 (or more likly 7-9) worker bee who comes home, cleans, finds something to eat, maybe finds time to work out and then goes to bed for another day. I am not knocking that life, and part of me really wants to just lay back. Have a house and a garden but I am not really comfortable with the thought of it. I can't imagine the commitment of a job for years. I want to be free to move and do what I want. Unfortunately money does become a problem. I need a foundation created to donate money to my enlightenment and enrichment. (hehehe I am sure not the only one who could dig that) I guess I am selfish and want the world to give to me and not have to give anything back. In college I became restless before the end and I have in law school as well. Like this unseen force keeps pushing me to not stay in one place too long. (That is probably the most exciting thing about my plans, that I am moving to a new place. )
About the world giving to me and me not giving back. I would love to give, but do things like write books, or travel, do charity, educate others, I could do things I find meaningful and enable me to explore and improve who I am. I imagine myself, me, my mind, as slowly growing and then at times it reaches a point where it hits a new level. Like when a butterfly comes out of its cocoon. If I stagnate, stay where I am; I don't grow. I just want to be as great as I can, I can't stand the thought of mediocre and yet I feel mediocre all the time. (Don't equate greatness with money because thats not what I am talking about here) The irony is the more I grasp and concur the more I can understand how much I don't understand at all. I reach the level of fathoming all I don't know. There is a fear in me that I will graduate and hit some wall. Like, "OK Chandra you train pass is up. You have reached the end of the line and it is time for you to get off the train and let some younger person on."
Again, selfish of me to think that I am above the life everyone has, I think I am better then a worker bee. But I feel, like any resource, I am a resource with a limited time span. It is a waste to spend me on monotony. (A warning to all you mothers out there, if you tell your daughter she is a princess and she will do great things and be great in the world, she will never be happy) I definitely understand reality, I have no naivety. I can pesimitically realize all the limitation that exist. Damn it I am a women. Isn't that enough! Yet I can't get over being upset with my limitations. I will break into my fantasy or die banging on the door. (At least I will always have books)
So what do I want to do when I grow up? That is such a complicated question. Want: to desire? Do I have to grow up? Someone needs to re write that question for the next generation. How do you want to go about reaching your potential in life. Thats my version.
My bye:
So back to graduation. I may have fears and worries about my future but leaving this place means nothing to me. I will miss it when I am gone, and I love all the people I have really connected with here, but I truly believe the important people will always be with me and be my friend. Some will fall away, some I will reconnect with later in life. I hope some will visit and let me visit too. For all you sci fi readers, "So long and thanks for all the fish"/ good time/just times.
Let's party!
~~ONE
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This is the start of something beautiful!
Here are the first etchings of my logo.
The web site of course at tahititeal.com
will hopefully be on the web in a month
or two.
What are we going to sell? Jewelry at first,
and soon after underwear and maybe
some sandals?
Tahiti Teal is going to be selling a lifestyle,
not just a bunch of stuff, so relax, it's Tahiti
and you're just sitting on the beach.
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I have been making Jewelry now and then as a bit of a hobby. I have been mildly considering business prospects because I love designing and would love to make some money using my talent. Right now I am only in the thinking about it stage, but as a museing I have been trying to come up with a name for the currentl ficticious company I would start. Maybe somthing with Island Exotic, or Turquoise Island, or C.E's Island Life.. lol Anyway coming up with names is difficult. I want to convey the white beaches, blue, clear, water, free, relaxed island living," tropical-esque." Any ideas?
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Saterday I spent a day in the city. Chrissy and Kyle came into do a late birthday celebration for Chrissy. We went to the MOMA and then to a ethiopian resturant.
The MOMA is on 11 West 53 street. The last time I want to the MOMA it was at an auxialry location because the main location was being renuvated. The renuvated location is beautiful and has much more space. I enjoyed all the classics but have seen them before, like the monet's, degas' and Matisse's, the Van Gogh's unique style, made famous by starry night, the Pollacks for the splatter art fans, the Picaso's made famous by his cubisum, and Dali's strange hallucinations. In Paris I saw rooms full of Degas's chalks of ballet dancers, some Van goghs that I like a bit more then Starry Night and more Matisse then I care for.
What I really am starting to like is some of the odder paintings like Magritte. Though not as odd and distrubing as Dali's strange obsession with skulls, death and wierd concoctions of imagery Magritte has what I would characterize as a suddle humor. I imagine him a bit sacrcastic or just wanting to paint somthing not normal to make people stop and stare.
I also enjoyed a group of nine "etchings" by Trenton Doyle Hncock called Bybe and Bye which was a comic book style grouping of different animal's eulogizing the death of a animal called Mound #1 in the forest.
The other pieces I particularly enjoyed was a huge map of what looked like England but instand of being a real map it was a comic map of the british male emotions with the waters, land, towns and rivers named after emotion. They all interelated and were so detailed I could have stared for hours.
After the MOMA we went to get dinner at a small returant called Meskerem in the city. The food was ethiopian and was located 468 West 47th Street near 10th. I had never had ethiopian before but it was delicious. It reminded me of Indian but differet types of spices and the bread had a totally different. The bread had a sticky texture and you used it to eat the meats and vetable dishes. Tim met us at the resturant , helped us eat a bit and then we all went out to another place for desert, drinks and coffee.
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"In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is strength, in water there is bacteria." -Old German proverb
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This is my new location. Now I own my domain name and can keep my blog here. I loved Blog Spot! Blog spot gave me the chance to try out having my own blog before I got in too deep. Now that I know I want to keep the blog going I wanted a more permanent location. I have also been considering getting this Domain locked in before, in some strange chance, someone else wants "my Domain name". It is also unfortunate that blogsopt does not allow you to export your blog entries. I wish they did because then I would move all the old blog to here. Since I can't the blog starts fresh.
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Copyright 2005 http://BLOG.CHANDRAWYMER.COM. All rights reserved.
It's a Small World so ENJOY! |
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